In retrospect though, I like to lurk deeper than my metaphorical love for myself.
Sometimes I dwell in the madness that resides deep under my skin. I want to hide and be seen. I want to dig my teeth into flesh and be bitten. Tamed and ridden. I want to show all that I have to offer so I can be given even more than I can handle. I like being teased and pushed to my brink of insanity. Because I am never truly sane. I am waiting to be stimulated mentally to show all that I am, is both mental and physical. I am nearly delirious at any given moment. Don’t ask me to distinguish between reality and fantasy because I blend them both with my color palate. Im ready to ramble and roll on my back at any given point of any day. I’m excited by the wandering eyes. Im excited period.
In contrast to my previous post.
When I put my body on display like this, it is the most I can give. I like the awkwardness. The realness of it all. The most I can show. Im saying here I am, take me as I am and interpret me as you will. Hold me to as high of a regard as you please, because there can be no harm done. I’ve already put myself through the ringer of judgement. I have decided that I am ok like this. I am ok with this. I have accepted myself and accepted others. I love seeing people and what they have to share and to offer and I respect that. I respect our natures, no matter how diverse or unusual.
Dancing is a way of rewarding my body for being so orderly throughout the common day. Letting loose and escaping into myself. Music comes through my pores. Bones meld into a single elastic vine, growing flowers through my eyes. Absorbing colors, I feel them like sounds. I feel the colors. I am one with the string theory of quantum mechanics. No longer am I a solid but a fluid, vibrating and churning with the molecules around. I am compressed and stretched. I am not an I. I am nothing. Nothing that absorbs the world. Absorbs the senses. Then I dance freely. Then I am a soul gliding with other souls, but we are not lost. We are finally whole.