All these thoughts in my head. Sometimes I like them trapped up together like my own roaring storm on this peaceful day. My own cross to bare, but I bare it with ease. It becomes a vicious song that keeps me in tune. And I walk to the beat and I dance to the beat and I lay my shaking head down to the beat and feel the breeze. This whirl wind of life has me on my toes.
There’s something about frying my brain that activates other areas.
I don’t get along with very many people, yet when in the throws of conversation, I prosper. Its difficult to explain. I am not privy to talking about the norm.
Im tired of it! I’m pleading for more in this life. I want to open my skin and let something real inside myself. I want to let this realness scurry around and tear me to pieces from the inside out. Crawl through my eye sockets with the gleaming reward and show these people the meaning of life. I want more than this and Im so willing to be the sacrifice. Take me to the extreme and then over the edge. I never refuse, because I never want the idiotic regret of not trying. I always want more life experience. I want more people to know me, and if not me, I want them to know themselves. FUCK!
Know you’re extremes, know yourself and know others. Know that undermining is a terrible, nasty habit and know that if you don’t like someone, then leave them the fuck alone. Leave them. Why are people so blind to everything!? Why are they blind to themselves. Why is the space in their minds being preoccupied with television and other people and fluff conversations and the means of only tomorrow. They seem to walk through life never thinking of the obscure, the unknown, the irrational or the adventure. There is more to this than what you see today and are told tomorrow. Please have thoughts in your mind, thoughts to discuss with others who think. THINK ON A HIGHER LEVEL. Please. I do not mean to sound so controlling, but i am frantic, desperate. What I want is not much. And its more than me, it is a want that you should want for yourself.
To read this and deny me, would be like saying “Me, think on a higher level, NO, I will continue to think on a lower level.”
People so terribly make and break me. It is people who I love, and people who I hate. We are in a death match, where I will not go on without helping them understand, yet they do not understand enough to help themselves and relinquish me to freedom.
But alas, I am safe while in the trenches of torment inside my mind. I am safe because I never put myself through more than I can endure.
And I regress.